Okay. I feel that I’ve been really good about not using my blog for rants. Considering I can (and do) rage about quite a lot in person, it is a miracle my blog isn’t laden with f-bombs and other profanities, warranting a “please validate that you are over the age of 18” warning upon visiting. That being said, I can’t hold this in any longer. This is a subject and a pattern of behavior I’ve observed for years and have become increasingly irritated, finally to the point that I’m in need of a good rant. And what better place to express my intense frustration than here? I (almost) apologize for the language…
Am I the only one who has moments in which they want to completely do away with their social media accounts? While there are a number of great benefits, it seems like social media is increasingly becoming a breeding ground for idiots. A cesspool for assholes (both female and male, but I’m referring primarily to the titty-wielding gender) who have nothing better to do than use their accounts to present themselves in an entirely different persona. The people who are so intent on making people like and adore them that they truly become a different person online, where in real life they are just as run of the mill as the rest of us.
If it weren’t for the fact that a) I’m the primary administrator for my work’s Facebook account and thus, have to have a personal account; b) I do have a small group of friends/family that I enjoy keeping in contact with; and c) My amazing book club, I’d happily delete Facebook altogether.
I’m so beyond irritated with people who put on a show. We all know a few of them. Those people who are hyper-selective with what they “like” and what articles or posts they comment on. Those people who know it all, and for whatever reason, have to let everyone and their effing grandmother know that they are the subject matter expert in everything. Those people who meet someone once, and are then best friends with them, forming ridiculous, intense attachments and having to comment on every. single. post. to prove how in love they are with their new BFF.
*pukes in mouth*
I have my suspicions. They had a shitty childhood in some way and have to overcompensate as an adult. For whatever reason they have never had many friends, so now they have to be friends with everyone. They are striving to prove to themselves that they are worthy of X, and act (as in lie their dirty little faces off) in a way that is completely dishonest and misleading.
Why??? How do people have the energy for this behavior?!
This seems to be a fairly typical issue with a lot of women. This intense need to prove that you are better, that you are smarter, that you are prettier. A need to prove that you’re the better mom because you did X, that you’re more successful because you accomplished X at work, that you make more money than that other chick by making a huge purchase first.
This type of behavior is a deal breaker for me. I’ve gotten to the point with some uber-competitive acquaintances that it is easier to not be on speaking terms than having to constantly keep up. I’m no angel. I’m human. I have my moments of wanting to compete. But when it comes to judging someone else because of their parenting choices, downplaying the professional intelligence of a friend, or managing to fault in something simple, mundane, or petty, I just won’t cross that line. Some people enjoy making others feel like shit and have no issues tearing down others to feel better about themselves, I simply will never be one of them.
I’ve been on the receiving end and it is fucking draining. This has been an exhausted topic in the media lately; how women need to stand up for and be there for other women rather than comparing and judging, criticizing and ripping each other apart. I just don’t get that kind of mentality.
It is sad, but I’d rather lose a friendship than continue to try to keep up, to have to present an equally faux persona to match whatever pedestal they have put themselves on.
AND IT ISN’T EVEN A REAL PEDESTAL! IT’S A PEDESTAL OF LIES!
What gets me the most about myself though, is that I constantly give these types of people second chances. Again and again I take the brunt end of the judgement, the “constructive suggestions,” or the blatant professions that they are simply better and know more. I’ve been advised to let those toxic friendships go, that it simply isn’t worth the time, stress, and anxiety of having to equally behave a certain way, that I simply shouldn’t have to take it.
And I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t continue to give them a second, a third… a tenth chance. Why should I sit here fuming, waiting for an apology that will never come? Why should I continue to be the friend who isn’t as smart, as successful, as pretty, or as wealthy just so someone else can feel better about themselves? Screw that.
Easier said than done… Should friendships really take that much work?